Thirty six years ago, my brother John saved my life.
Our Mother was forty-five years old when she became pregnant with me, and after a fatalistic visit to the doctor's office, she came home crying.
John, who was nearly eighteen at the time, was one of her biggest supporters, and, despite the risk to her life or the chance that I could have been born with Down Syndrome, he was adamant that she not have an abortion.
Nine months later, I was born—a healthy, 8 lb., 7 oz. bundle of joy.
In the intervening years, John hand-carved me a top-heavy hobby horse (I took my lumps, but it's the thought that counts), taught me how to play guitar ("Country Roads" by John Denver), fostered my love of music, comforted me after a devastating break-up, and helped our family purchase our ancestral home in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.
Of course, my brother isn't a perfect brother—or a father—but when he takes the time to do those things that really matter, he does them really well.
One Mother's Day weekend, while Beth was visiting her Mom in Florida and he had the girls all to himself, he decided to rent a convertible. He and the girls tooled around some local small towns and when they went to pick Beth up from the airport on Sunday, they surprised her with the top down and took her on a picnic.
The first summer at the family home in Arichat, Nova Scotia, he rigged the resident nylon kite to the end of the line on a fishing rod—Ingenius! I also remember him telling me that one night he pitched a tent so that his daughters, Haley and Alison (known as Sam and Rosie on the Disney Dad's blog), could go camping—in the living room. Talk about a cool Dad!
Other notable qualities include insisting his children "read the book, then see the movie", encouraging his children to pursue their passions, and helping his youngest daughter hatch chicks from eggs in an incubator and build a chicken coop.
When I asked Haley and Alison what some of their favorite memories of their Dad were, Haley mentioned "going out to eat with him and going on vacation"—a trip to Hawaii was revealed after further probing. Ali referenced a golfing outing at a local, not-overly-stuffy course and a certain biking trip.
The choices John makes in life proves the adage that "anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad."
Fast forward thirty-seven years from my birth. John needs a kidney; I'm a nearly perfect match. People marvel at my selflessness, and I marvel at the fact that they are marveling; doesn't everyone have a brother that they would risk their lives for? I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
And as we approach the hoped-for-date, when I have the privilege to share my spare kidney, I think about how I am saving my brother's life—not just for me, not just for him, but for his children's sake; because he's a father—and a brother—worth saving.
You're welcome, John; I guess we're even now.
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